According to evolutionary psychologists, the function of overthinking is to trigger depression. I have lists for everything! And that you always will.". I often ask myself "what if" questions. And then plan for all the alternatives. Overthinking is about dwelling on the problem, while problem-solving involves looking for a solution. Plus, thinking about all the things you could have done differently, second-guessing your decisions, and continuously imagining worst-case scenarios can be exhausting. Reconnect with who you are. Everything. Do you feel its important to have strict control over your thoughts? A mental health professional may teach you skills that will help you stop obsessing, ruminating, and dwelling on things that arent helpful. with more productive self-reflection and problem-solving. "Your family is lucky to have you through all this." Someone who struggles with overthinking isnt upset for no reason or just being dramatic, and we can only help people work thought their overthinking when we lead with compassion. Do you often look for the deeper meaning or personal significance of your thoughts? Folks with anxiety tend to color their world with more hostility and isolation, Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist, tells Bustle. Imagine a storm is coming. So, the best way to curb overthinking is. Finding ways to put an end to overthinking can help you take action in your life versus simply thinking about things that are bothering you. This one serves as a gentle reminder that, even though it never feels like it in the moment, anxious feelings do eventually fade. David A. Clark, Ph.D., is a practicing clinical psychologist and Professor Emeritus with the Department of Psychology at the University of New Brunswick. Any negative, unwanted thought triggered an agonizing process of self-analysis. Ask the same question(s) multiple times. This is often confused with "toxic positivity," which asks people to think positively no matter how . Learn what overthinking is, some signs you may be an overthinker, and a few reasons some people think too much. It shows that youre thinking about them, but not necessarily expecting a response. Overthinking is different from problem-solving. A lot. Pack everything when going on a trip. It does not help develop any insight into the situation. In many cases, overthinking could show up as rumination, which often involves perseverating on events of the past and even the present with a negative mindset. Many people have concluded that overthinking is part of their personality; theyve not realized that strategies are available to counter this anxiety-inducing habit. Dwelling on your problems, mistakes, and shortcomings, increases your risk of mental health problems, according to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology.. Just be sure to honor your own boundaries. If they say yes, bring their favorite snack, find a good movie, and sit with them. Ignoring the thought or not taking it seriously could be disastrous. When we pay too much attention to such thoughts, overanalyze their meaning, and try too hard to control them, we can slip into unhealthy forms of thought, like worry, rumination, obsession, and the like. Overthinking is exhausting. For two to three days, act as if you've chosen Option A, for example an opportunity in a new industry. Psychoeducation and therapy. You need to realize that no one is thinking of you and analyzing you as much as you worry about. David Susman, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist with experience providing treatment to individuals with mental illness and substance use concerns. You get it. It is also purposeful. This type of overthinking sets you up to worry about unrealistic worst-case scenarios. 20. I think it comes across as an interrogation, or that I am questioning the person as an individual rather than just asking questions in general. When someone doesnt give me a time, I panic. A 2013 study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology reports dwelling on your. Overthinking makes it harder to fall asleep. Zoning out. "Overthinking is more intense and a common occurrence.". People often come in for their appointments saying things like, "I can't relax. Start focusing on the positive things. Then I think of every scenario I may have annoyed them in the recent past. , Feeling that close friends want nothing to do with me, or want me out of their life if I have not communicated with them in a while. , Sometimes, I can be slow at work because I overthink how to do things the right way. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. I overthink about almost everything. While the brain may offer numerous or near-constant thought suggestions, its ultimately up to us to decide if we accept them.. Im wondering if people at work like me or if they like the work I do. Overthinking often stems from dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about things that you cannot change. Instead of going over something in your mind again and again, you can start to take the steps necessary to resolve the situation. Many of the psalms were written by overthinkers who were facing danger, emotional unrest . Studies show scheduling time to worry can actually decrease overthinking. Stressful events, depression, and anxiety can make people more prone to overthinking, and then this overthinking contributes to worse stress, anxiety, and depression. Help them come up with a plan they can turn to in their most anxious moments. "People can feel frustrated, angry, or misunderstood when someone tells them to calm down because it's like they're saying, 'You shouldn't feel that way,' or 'Your feelings don't count,'" Dr.. You're creative. Personality and Individual Differences. But for people with anxiety, If youre someone who overthinks, and its impacting your life in a negative way, there are things you can do that help. Studies show taking a 90-minute walk in a nature-filled environment can decrease ones inclination toward rumination[1]Bratman GN, Hamilton JP, Hahn KS, Daily GC, Gross James J. 2023 Forbes Media LLC. 3) Separate truth from fiction. But thinking is a two-way street, says Dattilo. Consider a young woman well call Jessica. I know its tough, but this feeling wont last forever., While you might feel at a loss for how to help, sending a text to someone whos anxious really can make a difference in how they feel. And the worse you feel, the harder it is to take positive action because emotions can cloud your judgment. I can take them at their word." At first, it may feel like you're lying to yourself, but I promise that after a while these mantras will start to sink into your spirit. Youre not listening, responses like that. When feeling upset, do you often focus on what you are thinking? One way to avoid overthinking a subject is to incorporate Scripture and prayer into one's thoughts. And then as mental health declines, it becomes more and more tempting to overthink. Rather than worry all day every day, you can contain your worries to just 15 minutes a day. experienced journalists and medical experts, Works to support healthy DNA, genes and telomeres which are related to youthful cell function, Added ingredient 2-HOBA supports DNA and cellular component from effects of free radicals, Formulated with powerful antioxidants to promote a healthy immune response, Learn the life-changing skill of meditation, Exclusive music to help you focus and relax, Receive support by practicing mindfulness and being present, Audio programs taught by world-renowned mindfulness experts, Added benefit of video lessons on mindful movement and gentle stretching. What can you do to overcome your overthinking? 1. Learning how to reframe them in a more positive way can help relieve the tendency to overthink. When you overthink your relationship, you tend to create a problem where there isn't one. Overthinking and worrying are mental activities, so if they start to take hold, do something physical. Your partner can feel misunderstood. Research has found that a 10-minute meditation can be an effective way to stop intrusive thoughts and worry. With just a little effort, you can adjust your thinking and take steps to replace overthinking with more productive self-reflection and problem-solving. 2013;122(2):339-52. doi:10.1037/a0031994, Pieter R, Nababan D, Ariawan S, Listio S, Ruben S. Improving interpersonal skills to overcome the negative effects of overthinking in the disruption era. Heres an example that shows the difference between overthinking and problem-solving: Problem-solving can lead to productive action. Because your mind is always telling you different stories every minute. Because your mind is always telling you different stories every minute. 'Show more' : 'Show less' }}. You might be more or less sensitive to mistreatment from others, so it helps to get a second or third opinion. Overanalyzing peoples facial expressions and body language, feeling that my conversation is boring them. , Analyzing their every little facial micro-expression, let alone any minute change in their vocal inflection. , Being withdrawn and quiet, getting so caught up in making sure I heard them right and making sure I dont say anything foolish that I barely say anything or include myself in social situations unless its close family (not extended, even). , Get really quiet because I dont want to say anything wrong. , Questioning if someone is mad at me over and over. "You can't outsmart the boss" could be referring to God, fate, or time. Quite simply, most of our life is uncertain. This text will be a good way to check in and give them a chance to talk about how it went, Potter says, while also communicating that you care and think about them often. This looks different for everyone, but ideas. All Rights Reserved. Your need for reassurance is not something to be taken lightly but people do not understand that and instead, start to push you away. The compensation we receive for those placements affects how and where advertisers offers appear on the site. Overthinking may be a symptom of a mental health issue, like depression or anxiety. Asking for constant reassurance on matters that may not bother an ordinary person and also overexplaining things to people (as in giving too many details in an attempt to make sense). Hannia I. Studies have found that improving your interpersonal skills can help stop you from overthinking since these skills have a large effect on this particular habit. The Anxious Thoughts Workbook: Skills to Overcome the Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts that Drive Anxiety, Obsessions & Depression. But its also important for others to be understanding. Just remember you cant speed up the process or talk someone out of anxiety. Then I feel both relieved and unhappy, because Im stuck with the medical problem, but I avoided what I was anxious about. Fighting obsessive and irrational thoughts with logic is one of the most effective strategies for how to stop overthinking when talking to someone. That laser focus can. Somebody would choose you over something else and even though you may not feel worthy of that, you are. Even though excessive thinking might harm mental health, it may be controlled with the right methods. If they noticed I just give a, Sorry I spaced, you were saying..? And hope they keep going without asking questions. , I become more distant thanI usually am, stare off into space, draw blanks, stutter when someone asks me something, etc. Fortunately, there are several mental strength exercises you can do to change the channel in your brain from overthinking into a more healthy mindset. Replay conversations over in my head to make sure I didnt say anything to offend anyone. Take worry, for example, which is a hallmark feature of generalized anxiety disorder, says Dattilo. After all, youre looking at a problem from every possible angle. "Saying things that are critical or applying pressure to the person, those sorts of things will often the increase anxiety levels." He strongly cautions against saying things like, "You're. Get someone else's opinion. Observe how you think and feel. The truth is that everyone overthinks things from time to time. Many of these are caused by cognitive distortions, which are negative or distorted ways of thinking. I often worry about things I have no control over. I get lost in thoughts, stress out if theyre bad or too much, and then end up with headaches, which are also complained about. R, Zoning out. Ill just stare off into space. It's so important to remember that God knows every thought and . I need sleep. 2010;21(4):484-488. doi:10.1177/0956797610363555, Rnic K, Dozois DJ, Martin RA. In fact, the longer you think about something, the less time and energy you have to take productive action. Signs of overthinking include: An inability to think about anything else Being unable to relax Constantly feeling worried or anxious Fixating on things outside of your control Feeling mentally exhausted Having a lot of negative thoughts Replaying a situation or experience in your mind Second-guessing your decisions If thats the case, let them know youre down to listen, Alex Ly, AMFT, a registered associate marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. Nature experience reduces rumination and subgenual prefrontal cortex activation. Overthinking can also take a serious toll on relationships. J Abnorm Psychol. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? It takes a lot of prodding from friends and family to finally go. You can, however, validate their feelings, Mack says, while also offering supportive and more reality-based messages of hope and well-being.. It often dreams up the very worst outcomes for any given scenario and this tends to intensify the problem of overthinking. However, it can often play a role in the development and maintenance of several mental health conditions. Talking in too much detail and then feeling embarrassed about how long Ive been talking for. , Asking for constant reassurance on matters that may not bother an ordinary person and also overexplaining things to people (as in giving too many details in an attempt to make sense). , Always asking for reassurance. As psychotherapist Kimberly Perlin, MSW, LCSW-C says, "People respond best to positive feedback that is specific." Say something like "I adore your tenacity" or "The way you handle situations. Read on to understand why you might be overthinkingand how to stop. You dont have to take every alarming thought that pops into your head as truth. Eur J Psychol. To cope with that Ive tried to give myself the same choice and make the same decision. He/she sounds like a wonderful person.". Your need for reassurance is not something to be taken lightly but people do not understand that and instead, start to push you away. You simply direct your attention to the task in a way that may even feel hyper-focused and zero in on observing yourself and any sensations that arise, advises Dattilo. It is helpful for sources of support to remind individuals with anxiety that they are cared about.. This type of overthinking involves thinking things are worse than they are. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. And, your brain might even develop a solution for you when you stop thinking about the problem. You feel super bad when you unintentionally hurt someone and you will apologize a million times. , Saying sorry when there is nothing to be sorry about. The easiest way to practice it is to focus on something completely mundane and routine, such as washing dishes or folding laundry. This is one of the best strategies to work on your overthinking. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Start with small talk and gauge common interests. If you can relate, dont forget to have compassion for yourself, and know even if youre still working on it, youre not alone. I take the smallest change in tone or facial expression as a sign they dont like me or are annoyed with me. FEATURED PARTNER OFFER Partner Offers feature brands who paid Forbes Health to appear at the top of our list. Calamari, J. E., Riemann, B. C., & Heffelfinger, S. K. 2003. And while a little healthy self-reflection can help you learn from your mistakes, rehashing and second-guessing is a form of mental torture. Sometimes you get so swept up in trying to avoid thinking. When the brain is at rest, the areas that light up are the problem solving areas and areas associated with self-referential thinking. BIRCI-J. I take the smallest change in tone or facial expression as a sign they dont like me or are annoyed with me. Let your friend or loved one know that he or she is still in your thoughts even after a few weeks or months have passed. He also is part of a research team looking to develop a new instrument that measures clients perceptions of whether counselors are effective in their ability to discuss the contextual dimensions of race, ethnicity, and culture (REC) with clients. Its an example of a positive affirmation, Myers says, which could help provide hope, perspective, and motivation to push through their anxiety. Practicing mindfulness means being present in the moment and noting what you're feeling. If I have it all planned out, then I feel like I have more control of the outcome of the situation, even if its a bad one. Assuring them youre a safe person to reach out will help them feel less alone. Privacy This text will remind them youre available to listen judgment-free, Donna T. Novak, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist, tells Bustle, as well as that its OK to feel anxious, especially when tough things are happening outside their control. Finding a way to break out of this cycle can often help relieve some symptoms of these conditions. But for people with anxiety who have the tendency to overthink, everything can feel like a high-pressure situation. Reach out to someone else who knows this person and see what they think. Opting for psychotherapy to work on yourself and your relationship is a good strategy. 9. Validation doesn't necessarily mean we agree with another's subjective reality.Validation simply allows another person's emotional state a space to exist. Rufus Tony Spann is a nationally certified school psychologist and licensed professional counselor based in Washington, D.C. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Psychological Science. Generally, "overthinking" refers to the process of repetitive, unproductive thought. Remind yourself that your thoughts are not facts. To overcome overthinking, self-acceptance and forgiveness are essential steps to take. This text is comforting in two ways. Some disorders that are associated with overthinking include: Overthinking can have a bidirectional relationship with mental health issues. I spend so much time either dwelling on past events or worrying about the future that I often miss whats going on in the present. I may be overthinking, but I don't like to laugh or lol because I feel like it would be making a joke out of, and therefore invalidating, the appreciation they're trying to express. Either way, it's apparent that overthinking can cause your mental health to decline. The goal is to remind them of their own resilience and strength. You might even convince yourself that thinking about something for a really long time is the key to developing the best solution. Things like "increased heart rate, increased . Are you often in a struggle to control your thoughts. In doing so, you will reclaim your brainpower, energy, and time. Here are the three dangers of being an overthinker: 1. For example, if I have a thought like, Should I leave my spouse and file for divorce? Im going nowhere in this job; maybe I need new employment, or Im having chest pains; maybe I should go to the hospital, I need to pay attention to these thoughts. If you are busy yourself, seeing friends, playing sports or music, then you are much less likely to overthink. No matter where youre located, fresh air can do your mind plenty of good. It's tempting because it feels like you're doing something but you risk getting stuck in a loop of negative thoughts and anxiety, she says. While overthinking itself is not a mental illness, it is associated with conditions including depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance use disorders. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? But youre not aloneresearch suggests 73% of 25- to 35-year-olds chronically overthink, along with 52% of people ages 45 to 55. Bratman GN, Hamilton JP, Hahn KS, Daily GC, Gross James J. Rufus Tony Spann, Ph.D., L.C.P.C., L.P.C. 7. For personal advice, please consult with a medical professional. By her own admission, Jessica was stuck in her head.. If you come out of the blue to share a pleasant memory, theres no telling how meaningful itll be to the person with anxiety, especially if you know they tend to feel depressed, as well. 2021 Sep;47(9):1327-1342. doi:10.1177/0146167220965303. Regaining mental health and wellbeing is attainable with the appropriate methods. I will not let my imagination plant improbable futures into my mind. If you're wondering whether you are overthinking a particular situation or concern, there are a few things you can look for.